fight, flight, freeze, fawn: how your nervous system responds to stress

Your Body has a Plan for Survival

If you’ve ever snapped in anger, avoided a hard conversation, felt frozen in place, or worked overtime to please someone, you’ve already met your body’s survival strategies.
These aren’t character flaws. They’re built-in responses from your nervous system — designed to keep you safe in moments of stress.

When we understand these patterns, we can start to work with our body instead of feeling trapped by it.

Why We Have Survival Responses

The human nervous system evolved over millions of years. Long before we could think our way out of danger, our body learned how to detect threat and act instantly — no conscious decision required.

Psychologist Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains how the vagus nerve helps regulate our stress responses. When your brain perceives danger — real or imagined — it automatically chooses one of several protective modes:

• Fight — confront the threat

• Flight — escape the threat

• Freeze — shut down and conserve energy

• Fawn — appease the threat to gain safety

1. Fight

Your body prepares to protect you by becoming activated and assertive (sometimes aggressively so).
Signs you might be in fight mode:

• Tense jaw, clenched fists

• Feeling easily irritated or angry

• Speaking louder or faster than usual

• Urge to confront or “fix” the situation immediately

2. Flight

Here, your system wants to create distance between you and the perceived danger.
Signs you might be in flight mode:

• Restlessness, bouncing your leg, pacing

• Urge to avoid calls, emails, or tasks

• Busywork or over-scheduling to escape feelings

• Anxiety, racing thoughts

3. Freeze

Your body pulls the emergency brake — you become still, numb, or disconnected.
Signs you might be in freeze mode:

• Feeling paralyzed or unable to act

• Mind going blank in conversation

• Daydreaming or zoning out

• Feeling disconnected from your body or surroundings

4. Fawn

This lesser-known response is about maintaining safety by pleasing others.
Signs you might be in fawn mode:

• Saying “yes” when you mean “no”

• Over-apologizing

• Avoiding conflict at all costs

• Attuning to others’ needs while ignoring your own

Why These Responses Can Feel Stuck

Sometimes, especially after trauma or chronic stress, our nervous system gets stuck in one of these modes — even when the danger has passed.
This isn’t your fault. It’s your body doing its best to protect you, even if the strategy no longer fits the situation.

How to Work With Your Nervous System

You can’t “think” your way out of a survival response — your body needs signals of safety to shift gears.
Some starting points:

• Notice without judgment: Name the state you’re in (“I’m in freeze right now”).

• Ground in the present: Use your senses — name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear.

• Connect with others: Safe, supportive connection helps signal to your system that you’re not alone.

Free Resource: Map Your Stress Patterns

Understanding your nervous system starts with noticing what happens in your body.

🔍 Download my free Somatic Mapping Worksheet to identify your personal fight, flight, freeze, or fawn signs — and discover what helps you return to regulation.

This simple tool will help you:

• Recognize your patterns in real time

• Match each state with specific regulation strategies

• Build awareness without judgment

Final Thoughts

Your nervous system isn’t broken — it’s doing exactly what it’s designed to do. By learning to recognize and respond to these states with compassion, you can move from surviving to truly living.

The first step is simply noticing. The next is choosing, one small step at a time, how you want to respond.